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Of all the possible ridiculous possibilities in our financial world, Blythe Masters joining the CFTC was probably farthest from my mind.  Blythe Masters as you know is the head of global commodities trading at JP Morgan.  You know? “JP Morgan” the financial behemoth that has paid out $25 billion over the last year in 12 “wrist slapping’s” (with 2 more to come) for conduct unbecoming human beings?  How is it possible that the CFTC could offer her a job?  How is it possible that she would accept it?  Is this a joke? …On us?

I don’t suppose the CFTC nor do Ms. Masters see any conflict of interest here.  Don’t get me wrong, in a real world with real laws and real consequences this could not only ever happen but never even be contemplated.  In my opinion there are no “conflicts of interest” at all.  No, I’m not crazy and I didn’t take a “stupid pill.”  There is no conflict of interest as far as I’m concerned because the CFTC has the exact same “interests” as does JP Morgan.  They both want low rates, low gold and silver prices and high paper asset valuations…so where are the conflict?

Whoever it was that dreamed up putting the head fox of foxes on the planet inside the juiciest henhouse must be “brilliant” …in their own mind.  I say, “In their own mind” because only someone with a perverse sense of humor could have come up with this one.  Think about it, “comedians” are truly brilliant people and that’s why they are comedians.  They have a perverse sense of humor and don’t think like normal people who are what gives them the ability to look at something mundane and find something “funny” about it.

To put the CFTC’s current hire into perspective, this is akin to Al Capone taking J. Edgar Hoover’s job at the FBI or making Bernie Madoff the head of an exchange like the Nasdaq…oh wait, never mind, or giving Eric Holder …Eric Holder’s job as attorney general…oh fuggedaboutit you get the idea!  Speaking of Eric Holder, JP Morgan is obviously “too big to jail,” were any single one of the 12 settled or 2 yet to come cases actually prosecuted, can you imagine what would come up in any discovery process?  This is why in any civil cases…they are always settled ahead of time…BEFORE the opening of any “books” in the discovery process.  Can you imagine the paper trail that would be exposed if just one single tiny “string” was tugged on …to fruition?  Or where that string might ultimately be attached?  The Fed?  The Treasury?  Both?

Getting back to Blythe, apparently JP Morgan is selling their commodities unit to Mercuria, a Swiss firm formed by 2 ex Goldmanites (doing God’s work?) and she will not make the transition.  Instead, she will be taking a 99%+++ pay cut to “do good.”  Oh I get it, the CFTC figures she knows where all of the skeletons are hidden and will start pointing the bloodhounds in the right direction…NOT!  Actually, I cannot imagine any firm after doing any due diligence whatsoever wanting to take on any legacy positions held.  Will Morgan’s “60% corner” in the gold derivatives market go along with the sale?  Will this be a Countrywide Mortgage purchase and “all that comes with the package”… on steroids?

Maybe just maybe Blythe is taking the job so that she can point the bloodhounds in the wrong direction?  I just don’t get it; she cannot need the money so it can’t be the paycheck.  The CFTC is not some “famous” (yes it is infamous) agency where she’ll get “exposure” (I’m sure that this is EXACTLY what she doesn’t want).  Thinking perversely as I often do, I can only surmise that this is simply an “in your face” to those of us who know and a joke “on” those who don’t.  Think about it, the funniest thing in the world is when you’re sitting around a table having a few beers with friends and start making fun of someone…who doesn’t understand that they are the butt of the joke but they start laughing anyway.  Everyone is laughing right?  But, everyone is laughing for a different reason…because the butt of the joke doesn’t get it.  I might add that this is simply a description of someone “who doesn’t know that they don’t know.”  I can only believe that this is what Blythe Masters (and cohorts) is doing.  It is “in your face, what are you going to do about it?” for anyone who gets it and “you’re so foolish that you don’t even know that you don’t know” for the rest of the population.

OK, maybe I’m just being too cynical?  Maybe Blythe Masters has had a “come to God” moment and wants to “make right” everything that was “made wrong?”  Maybe she’s going to “clean up” the system and help return the markets to one of true price discovery?  Maybe she’s going to rat out everyone and we’ll finally see some perp walks and jail time?  Maybe my horse will grow a single horn on his head and Unicorns do exist?  Or better yet, maybe mi amigo will grow some wings and I can fly Pegasus Airlines to the city of Atlantis?

P.S.  Just as I was about to send this, word is that Blythe Masters has withdrawn her name from consideration because “she’ll be too busy overseeing the sale of the commodities unit.”  Zero Hedge alleges “furious Twitter backlash.”  This is encouraging, maybe there are enough out there who get it?  Darn the bad luck though; I was really looking forward to my afternoon “smooth” ride above the treetops!